Something a bit different -
- Rach McMahon
- Jan 19, 2020
- 4 min read
I wasn't really sure I was gong to carry on writing this blog, I thought I had plenty more to write about with stories of our NZ and overseas adventures, accident two and getting my Sporty. Over the holidays, I thought I'd have plenty of time to get it all out. Ha!
I ended up enjoying doing 'Not a lot" and riding my bike.
But as is does my mind went onto overdrive, of a different kind and although I have been writing about my accident and hoping to motivate others, or even encourage others to get out and ride, my mind has been wondering elsewhere, and a sentence that kept coming to mind was.........
"How did I go from Hero to Zero" Good title for a book don't ya think??
I'm talking about parenting - you know the job that comes with no job description, no guide book, the job that is never ending, unforgiving and a free never ending guilt trip.
The job that nothing can ever prepare you for, and just when you think you MIGHT have it sussed, you screw up and then reflect on how "you could have done that better" the job that is ever evolving but you don't even notice because most of the time your to exhausted to, but still you roll with it and try you very best right???
Recently I watch an article, reviewed by Amanda Keller written by Mia Freedman called Motherhood, and it pretty much summed into words how I am feeling.
It took me several attempts to be able to watch it without getting chocked , but I did eventually get through it.
It talks about being the mother of a son that grows up to be a man. For me, this is not just about my son's, but my daughter too.
Amanda Quotes "Your son growing up feel's like the slowest break up you've ever had,
There are many crazy things about being a parent, but one of the things that was not "in the brochure" is that you don't parent just one child, one person, you parent very differently, a new born, a baby, a toddler, a pre-schooler, a primary school kid, a pre teen, an adolescent, a full blown teen, a young adult and then an adult and they all add up to the same name and they all call you mum, you never notice the infliction point where one morphs into the next.
You never get to properly say goodbye to all the little people who grew up cause you don't notice the growing and the changing except when Facebook sends you those blasted reminders.
I guess I have been struggling with a bit of empty nest syndrome, Possibly? Don't get me wrong, I am happy that the grocery bill has more than halved, there isn't so much washing to do, no fights to referee, the taxi is parked up and I no longer have to pay for their phone's and yell at them to go to bloody bed! They are all out doing their own thing and finding their way in the world, but what is really hard is that somehow, and I'm not sure when it happened, I went from being a VIP in the front row, invited to everything in their lives, you know EVERYTHING, asking me to help or guide them through trouble waters or "Mum, how do I do this? to
"This show - Sold Out"
Your child / children goes from being your number 1 fan, everything that goes on in their world is bought straight to you - good bad or indifferent. You are their "Go TO"
Then almost overnight, they get partners and their partners and the partners families become the new centre of their world, and you now watch from the sidelines, you get put down the priority ladder and it's the worst feeling you don't even realise it has happened until it has happened and absolutely nothing can prepare you for it.
I'm not really going anywhere with this apart from hoping that there are other parents out there struggling with this transition too, or if there are other parents out there feeling like this also, please know you are not alone!
I know it does mean I get to ride my bike wherever I want now, and I don't have to save my annual leave to cover those never-ending school holidays.
The things I can now do with my time, well the possibilities are endless really aren't they.
I just wanted to share, parenting, the hardest job in the world, and even though they may have left home, does not mean you stop worrying!
Im waiting for the 35yrs is it? when they start wanting you back in their lives again.
Mum Poem
At 6 yrs "Mummy, Love you.
At 10 yrs Whatever!
At 16 yrs Mum is So annoying
At 18 yrs I wanna leave this dumb house
At 25 yrs Mum, you were right
At 30 yrs I wanna go to Mum's
At 50 yrs I don't want to loose my Mum
At 70 yrs I would give anything for Mum to be here with me.
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