SICK OF MYSELF, BUT GOTTA LOOK FOR THE LAUGH :)

Sticking around home with not a lot to do, I can assure you it's not all it's cracked up to be!

I guess there are some aspects of it that are ok, but being restricted to your home and spending most of the days and nights by yourself, you soon get sick of the place and your own company! When I was first home, I had a friend stay with me fore a few weeks to help me out initially, but once I got some use of my hand back, I was soon home alone.

Under different circumstances, I'd say, yeah nice, but right at that moment my home was beginning to feel like a prison. The best way I can describe it is, it kind of feels a bit like a funeral, in the sense that, you know when someone passes away, EVERYONE comes around, there are plenty of people, conversations and company but as soon as the funeral has been, everyone goes back to their lives and the silence becomes deafening.

Time on my hands was about to change though. Originally the surgery was planned for September / October, I got a call from the hospital, my surgery has been moved to July 22 - two months earlier! I now only have to wait one month. Shit's about to get real!

Good I don't have as much time for my overactive imagination to run wild on me, but now I"m starting to feel really nervous and I'm not sleeping - more pills to add to my daily drug cocktail. I'm sure if you picked my up and shook me, I would have rattled.

My arm / hand rehab is going really well, with visits to hand therapy becoming my weekly outing highlight, and a busy week would be an extra trip out going to the hospital for a dose of silver nitrate to burn that blasted hole on my knee that would not heal.

There was one day though that was quite a bit of humour, my girlfriend had taken me to the hospital, after a silver nitrate session softened by some gas, (that silver nitrate really bloody hurts, so the gas softens the pain) we though we would go and buy some clothes as nothing fitted me!

We went to Jay Jay's clothing, I was using my gutter frame (my four wheeler scooter) :)

I HATED going out anywhere in the wheelchair, but of course two of us AND a gutter frame were not going to fit into a changing room made for one. And of course I needed help to try things on as I couldn't "try on clothes" by myself. Imagine this, I can only stand on one leg and I can only pull things on / up with one hand, so trying to stand up, hold on to something for balance AND pull on a pair of pants?? It just has disaster written all over it doesn't it??

It's one thing getting dressed at home shuffling around the floor or the bed, but a one person changing room? We certainly entertained not only ourselves but the shop attendants too!

All you could hear was banging and crashing and cackles of laughter as I slid down the wall falling to the floor and my girlfriend trying to hold my bad leg while I'm sliding down the wall then trying to dress me as I sat on the floor - A sight to be seen that was for sure! but god we laughed!!

Wellington was having a spate of earthquakes just before my surgery, and there had been a couple of big shakes, some of you may remember, Featherston Street in Wellington Central was closed off for several weeks due to glass falling out of windows from high-rise buildings. There was another big one the Sunday night before my surgery - oh great! now I'm going to be in theatre and there are going to be earthquakes !! Or my surgery will be postponed!

Nope- we are on schedule- Monday 22 July 2013 my nerves were through the roof - heading to the operating theatre, I was wobbly and shaking, sweaty palms going through the process of your name, birthdate, weight, are you allergic to anything? and, do you know what we are doing to day? 100 times, the more I was asked, the more nervous I became.

Time to put on the surgical gown, spunky head cap thing and booties, one more talk with the anaesthetist and the two surgeons for good measure, and then we'll take you through to theatre...........my heart is pounding, I'm in the operation room, I have tears rolling down my face and I'm struggling to answer the questions they are asking me.

The medical team lift me onto the bed, one nurse one side, "just a little prick here Rach", then someone on the other side of me, "Rach I'm just going to' on the the other side of me, people arranging and repositioning me, the lights a really bright. One nurse in particular can see I'm becoming overwhelmed, she stops everyone for just a second and ask's me,

"are you alright honey"? I nod, She tells me, 'it's going to be ok, you're in good hands and have the very best surgeons'. How about we give you a little something to calm you down a bit?

I was ok, just nervous. I'm usually not bothered by "procedures" and just go with the flow, but this was the big, and there was still that bit of doubt hanging around in the back of my mind, what if this doesn't go so well??

The mask goes on, can you count backwards from 10 for me Rach.......

10, 9.............

One thing about surgery, it always seems to be the best sleep ever!

The surgery was 10 hours, and went very well, the Dr's said they were very pleased with how everything went, saying it went like clockwork. By no means are we out of the woods yet Rach, we need to see how the bone graft is going to take, the key being that your body does not reject the graft, and you don't get any infections. There is still no weight bearing on the right leg, and you will be able to get on the left leg in a few days. Rach, you are one out of the bag, your determination is going to get you though this. Your recovery will go as well as you want it to, if the last 4 month is anything to go by, you've got this.